How to Help Your Kids Sleep In: A Parent's Survival Tool

When my oldest daughter was 18 months old, she would often call us into her room when she woke up. Initially this was around 6:00. Considering that she went to bed at 7:00 in the evening, 6:00 didn't seem too bad. Then she started waking up at 5:45. Then 5:30. Then 5:00. All of a sudden our great little sleeper was driving mommy and daddy crazy. No matter what time she went to bed, she was awake and ready for her day to start well before I had my first cup of coffee. We needed a solution.

Enter Momo.

Momo is our best friend. Momo is a life saver. Momo is a plastic monkey clock. We discovered Momo on Amazon as we were looking for solutions to help our little early bird. Here's how Momo works. At night, when you're putting your child to sleep, you push a button and Momo closes his eyes. We turned this into a "Say goodnight to Momo" ritual. You explain that when Momo's eyes are closed, it's still night. Then, at the time you set, Momo will open his eyes and your early bird can begin to gather her worms. There is also the option to turn on jungle sounds when Momo opens his eyes to help wake your little one.

There are many child sleep aids out there - some with lights, some with colors, some with sounds. For us, open eyes and closed eyes were so easy to explain to our kids that we quickly grew quite fond of Momo. In fact, Momo is such a champion in our house that we have two - one Momo for each kid room. And Momo has been keeping Mommy and Daddy sane for the past five years. Our kids like the feeling of knowing what time it is before being able to tell time. Our oldest used to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and she would say, "Is it morning? Wait, I'll check Momo." And our youngest loves being able to announce to the family when it's morning because of Momo.

Thank you, Momo, for all of your service! We want our early birds to get their worms, but not too early.

Tips for Keeping Kids and Parents Sane During Business Trips

My wife has been in Thailand for six days. She comes home in two days. This is an annual occurrence in our house. Every Spring Break my wife has a business trip in Asia. It is typically scheduled around my Spring Break so we do not need to worry about full time child care for the week. This means that for one week every year I get to try to figure out how to do what my wife and I normally to do together by myself. With a seven-, five-, and three-year-old. BY MYSELF. Last year my cousins stayed with me since the trip did not coincide with my Spring Break. This year my mom watched the kids for a couple of hours so I could find my sanity. But business trips are taxing on kids and parents, and luckily, we have discovered some great things that work for us. Hopefully you will find them useful for your next business trip.

Prior to the trip we bag and label some gifts for the kids, one for each day that mom will be gone. These do not need to be expensive gifts; we usually get some prizes from the dollar aisle at Target. We look for things that are not just cheap trinkets, but things that can help keep the kids occupied, which may or may not be cheap trinkets. Some ideas are coloring books, markers or crayons, bubbles, books, or sidewalk chalk. In the past we have had a new movie for a movie night. This trip we had some money for the ice cream man. He was accosted by my kids today and we all got an ice cream treat. That was a hit!

Each bag gets a sticker with the day on it. This is a great visual for young kids to see how many days until mom returns. I have alternated in the past with getting to open the presents first thing in the morning and getting to open the presents after dinner. Every trip I change it up and I really haven't found that one works better than the other.

Throughout the week I try to find things to do with the kids to keep them from missing mommy too much. They get treats that I normally wouldn't let them have, not because mommy isn't here to be the rule gestapo. It's not like I need her permission to spoil the kids (honey, if you're reading this from Thailand, everything is great and I didn't give the kids candy from Sweeties for the movie night tonight, so nothing to worry about). Sometimes I trick them into thinking they're getting treats. One favorite for this is the homemade Dreamsicle that I blogged about two years ago. The kids still think that they're getting dessert, when they're actually just getting frozen breakfast foods.

Technology is wonderful and my kids get to Facetime my wife every day. With her in Thailand, our tonight is her tomorrow morning, so we can easily line up times that work for everybody. But she is extra sensitive about being alert to what is going on here in Arizona with the kids during the call. So if a kid is having a meltdown, she doesn't try to keep asking about their day or telling me about hers. Just a quick, "I love you guys. Don't bust daddy's chops," and we can get back to having the kids bust my chops. 

Finally, for extended trips like this, bringing back prizes really helps. I still remember my parents taking trips when I was a kid, and the excitement of them opening their suitcases with a new stuffed animal, a book, or a shirt. Again, this doesn't need to be anything big or expensive, but just something for the kids, and spouse-left-at-home, to know that they were missed. We try to make the time with mommy gone filled with enough fun that the kids will not dread that time when the next trip comes around.

I just noticed that there is one bag left for this trip. I know that I can survive one more day. Maybe next trip I will request goodie bags that I can open throughout the week.

Changing a Tire: So Easy a Child Could Do It

Last week, as I was driving home from work, I smelled burning rubber and wondered if I had engine problems. Then I noticed that the car in front of me had a flat, shredded tire. I followed the car into a parking lot and got out to ask the driver if she needed help. She responded that she didn't know if she even had a spare tire in her car (note: almost every car has a spare tire of some sort up until the 2015 model year. Finding yourself stranded is the worst time to try to figure out how your spare tire works or if you have one. If you do not know where your spare tire is, go right now to find it, as well as the instructions for how to replace it. Go now. I'll wait to write more until you get back).

Now that you're back, I can continue my story. While I was changing Kris's tire, she said numerous times, "I'm so glad that there was a guy around who knows how to fix a tire. This just isn't something that is easy for a woman to do." Any of my former Self Reliance students know not only how to fix a tire, but also how important it is for any driver to know how to do it. Some women may feel that it is hard to change a tire, but we can all do hard things.

I was glad that I was there to help Kris, but I want my kids to know how to change a tire. I had a student last year who said that his dad never wanted him to have to change a tire. While it would be great, in principle, if we never had an emergency on the road, I want to make sure that my kids don't have to rely on a complete stranger for help and hope that he is a good guy. 

Let's back up a couple of months. I got a call that my wife, with all three kids in the car, had a flat tire and needed help. Now before you jump on her and say that a Renaissance Mom should know how to fix a tire, she absolutely does. But this flat tire happened in our neighborhood. And it was 110. And she had all three kids. So I ran over and had a teaching moment with my kids. They helped with every step of the process. And in case you need a refresher on changing a tire, here are the 10 steps to changing a tire, ala Renaissance Dad.

1. Move to a flat, safe location. Parking lots are great. If you are on a road, move as far to the side as you safely can. If you cannot safely change a tire, call a tow truck to help out.

2. Get out the tools and the donut (small tire) or spare tire.These are usually found in the trunk of the car, the cargo area, or under the back seat. Of course you already know where they are because you looked for them after reading the first paragraph above.

3. Loosen the lug nuts. This is important to do while the tire is on the ground (otherwise the tire will spin as you try to loosen them). Loosen in a star pattern. If the lug nuts are tight, thank your mechanic or tire person for keeping you safe. Then put the lug wrench on the nut and stand on it. Even my kids with their 40 pounds have enough weight to loosen lug nuts by bouncing a little.

Big A raising the car like a boss

4. Following the car manual directions, raise the car using the jack. Most cars jacks have two pieces to the handle, allowing you to spin the handle more easily. The jack should be placed on the car frame. Remember that your flat tire has no air, so you'll need to raise the car until the tire is completely off the ground.

5. Remove the lug nuts in a star pattern, leaving the top lug nut for last. Make sure that if your kid is holding the lug nuts in the hubcap that you do not accidentally knock the hubcap into the air, thereby losing all of the lug nuts and causing your kid to say, "Fuuuuuuuuudddddggggge."

6. Place the spare onto the wheel and hand-tighten the lug nuts, beginning with the top one and moving in a star pattern.

7. Slowly lower the car to the ground. Slowly. 

8. Tighten the lug nuts, again in a star pattern. You can again use your weight to make sure that they are tight enough.

9. Stow your tools and flat tire, and go straight to a tire shop to get a replacement.

10. If you have a donut, please DO NOT drive on the highway. Donuts typically have a speed limit of 50 mph, and a typical distance of 50 miles. If you drive for a couple of days, you will need a new tire AND a new donut.

My good friend Stan once told me that the two most important things on a car were tires and brakes. And the two most neglected things on a car are tires and brakes. Keep your tires safe, and keep your family safe.

My Test Scores Don't Define Me

Spring is a time when most educators start to feel a little panic. In the education world, springtime is test-taking time. It's the time when most standardized tests take place. Whether they are state mandated, national, or school specific, tests are a normal part of the education world. And educators are often more nervous during these tests than the students are. Some of that pressure is what we put on ourselves, and often much of the pressure comes from outside.

Beyond nerves, many of us feel angry or disillusioned. We think, "The stakes are too high", "The results are skewed", "Too much class time is taken up", and "The test results don't tell the whole story". Depending on your district or state, the tests may be more or less frustrating and flawed. I get that.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret that most administrators know: there is no such thing as a perfect test. Even the ones you write yourself aren't perfect. And the standardized tests come with their own set of challenges. When I was a teacher, I quickly realized that our Arizona state-wide test was seriously flawed (it has since been replaced by an even more questionable test). It did not cover material that I felt was relevant to my class, and I found some questions to be confusing or poorly worded. How could I possibly hope for good results based on a flawed test?

But then I decided that even a flawed test could help me be a better teacher. I looked at my results each year and came up with a game plan for how I would improve the next year, even though my scores were initially pretty good. I could improve from pretty good to great, and then great to outstanding. There were setbacks and years when I had difficult students, but what teacher doesn't have those? My goal was not perfection. My goal was improvement.

In the school I now lead, teachers put a lot of pressure on themselves at test time. We are a highly competitive district, and some teachers, comparing their scores to others, end up feeling they don't measure up. After a recent round of testing, one of my teachers said the following. "I allow my scores to inform my instruction in order to improve my teaching - NOT define me." I feel like this sums up the whole point of testing. As educators, we should take the results of testing, diagnose areas for improvement, and look for ways to improve our instruction in order to better educate our students.

However, we often do the exact opposite. We look at our scores and equate that to our value as a teacher. Our students average a 75% on an exam, so I am 75% of a good teacher. Instead of looking at the data and figuring out how we can enhance our instruction, we beat ourselves up when the results are less than what we hope for.

Now, as an administrator, I don't look for perfect results. I look for progress. I look for teachers who take their test results and come up with strategies to gain ground. Not miracles, just successes.

So as we go into the end of the school year, let's make a conscious effort to allow our test data to inform us in how we can improve. Let's look at the results of each test and determine the best way to better reach individual students and classes as a whole. And let's stop placing a self-value on our teaching based on an exam, but rather look at improvements that we can make year after year.

Happy Birthday, Renaissance Dad: A Roundup of the Last Two Years

Renaissance Dad just turned two. It has been a wonderful two years of watching my kids grow, learning new skills, gardening, building, cooking, and writing. I so appreciate all of the people who have supported Renaissance Dad by reading and sharing. Here's a look back at the last two years with the first paragraph from some highlighted posts, along with links to continue reading them.


Most Read Article: 

Seven Things Every Teacher Wants Every Parent To Know - September 7, 2015

"This school year marks my 14th year in education. I have been a teacher, a curriculum writer, a coach, an Athletic Director, an Assistant Principal, a Principal, a Director, a Head of School. Basically, if it needs to be done in a school, I have done it. Yes, I have even filled in as a crossing guard and a janitor from time to time. Every year, as the school year starts off, I feel like one of my biggest jobs is to bridge the gap between school and home. When two groups of people as passionate about their jobs as teachers and parents are come together, it can feel like clash of the Titans. That's why I decided to share my list of Seven Things that Every Teacher Wants Every Parent to Know." (read the rest of the article here).

Most Commented On Article:

 Goodbye to an Old Friend - March 24, 2014

"I had to say goodbye to an old friend yesterday. It was really sad. I have known this friend for 14 years. We met at my birthday party in 2000, and since then, we have spent almost every major holiday together. We typically got together 3 times per week. Whenever people came to the house, this friend was there, and was almost always the center of the party. I will miss this friend. I actually wept when I had to say goodbye, and as I write this now I am getting somewhat choked up. This friend was my Weber Performer grill. And no, I'm not joking about getting choked up." (read the rest of the article here).

Most Underappreciated Article: 

 Grilled Dark Chocolate Raspberry Burritos - October 8, 2014

"Okay, I know that in my last post I promised a two part post about new tools, but this one is too good to pass up. I also know that a lot of my posts make "life changing" claims, from Limoncello to fall beverages, from Italian Feast to Lemon Pound Cake. But this, my friends, just may top them all. It is simple, takes merely four ingredients and a few minutes to make, and will cause your wife to want to get lovey-dovey no matter what kind of day she's had. Here is one of the simplest, most amazing desserts you will ever, and I mean EVER, make." (read the rest of the article here).

My Wife's Favorite Article: 

A Teacher's Reflections on Autism - April 22, 2015

"April is Autism Awareness month. I was asked to guest blog on my experiences as an educator. I chose to write about my experiences with a student who became such a delight to have in class, on the stage, and as a runner." (read the rest of the article here).

Thank you, dear reader, for making it so much fun to write over the past two years. Here's to many more years of building, gardening, cooking, and raising kids in hopes of not screwing them up too much!